I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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