My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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