what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
