If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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