How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
