your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
