Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I could make wine with my vomit
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
