She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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