Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I need a burrito and a hug.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
