Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
