there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
