We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
