I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
