We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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