Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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