I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
