roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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