Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
