The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just googled if crying burns calories
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
