I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize