I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
