Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize