I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
