Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
