Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
