it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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