This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
the raccoons are back...
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