mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
