put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
