therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
