Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
