Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
