Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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