Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
