do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
