when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
