all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize