the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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