yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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