He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
