We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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