It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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