Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
