ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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