So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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