They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize