If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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