Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
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