soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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