I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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