We won't sleep together?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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