You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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