things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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