i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
