not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
