who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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