So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
