Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
