You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
