I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
