there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
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