vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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