This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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