i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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