So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
