I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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